Spouse

i juz read Star newspaper borrowed from pia. die je la yg rajin beli..hehehe:p and suddenly my eye was caught by 'marriage' word. hmm, quite interesting gak, this article. its title is "Love takes work" by Louisa Lim. she had attended a typical marriage boot camp by 61-year-old Mike Constantine, a part- time marriage guru and full time husband. ahha! forget to jot down.. Constantine said, before this he hate the word "spouse". coz' it sounds too much like 'mouse' or 'louse'! or for me it sounds more likely like 'spongebob' hahaha :P Nevertheless, spouse is the only word in the english language that refer to a married person, man or women. thus, finally he try to find out himself and found that "spouse" is xtually derived form Latin word spondere, which means a solemn promise. A spouse, then is someone who solemnly promises to love and homour his or her marriage partner. Finally he said, "And that, to me, is amazing."

the main purpose of this camp is to reveal to the married couple about life after married and how to face the problem w/ ur partner. yeah, i admitted every marriage and love relationship needs hard work and understanding each other. in my own point of view, if the marriage couple facing a problem, they shudn't think about divorce. coz' i think the divorce word shud be always the last resort. When all efforts to build and reconcile have been exhausted, or when a spouse is unfaithful and unrepentant. ok, let reviews the Marriage myths debunked, below (btw, it's quite amazing to know this facts before u married!! hehehe ^^):

• Marriage will end your loneliness: u're in for a major dissapointment if u xtually jumped on d marriage bandwagon with this in mind. Many married people are lonely, b'coz according to marriage guru Mike Constatnitne, it's a case of recognising that "a marriage won't make u happy, but u make a marriage happy." my comment: agree!! if we r too depending on the marriage itself to enhance both relationship between partners, it won't be a success. coz' marriage is also like a piece of paper. we must know how to create a beautiful landscape and this need a commitment from both parties. if not, u already noe the result~~
  

• You won't be plaggued with problems if u're truly in luv: Perfect relationships don't exist. According to reowned psychologist Dr. Phil, "Arguing can xtually help the qualitiy and longevity of a relationship. The issue isn't whether u fight; it's how u do it." my comment: bak kate pepatah, it can spice up the realtionship! and after tru' all of this hardness i'll sure that u'll noe them better! ^^
  

• Having babies will boost ur bond: Remember post-partum depression? The arrival of newborn can b hard on a woman's body n emotions. Numerous couples have been driven apart by their children because it adds stress to their marriage. my comment: babies!! wahaha..i really like them. opsss, this is not 'bout me...ahaha :P hopes my future husband can consider all of this thing and can help me out by take care of our babies too..hik3 thus, less stress can be found in our marriage..(ameen!)
  

• Getting married means saying sayonara to ur sex lyf: Studies have shown that married peoples have more sex than their unmarried counterparts. Not only do they have sex more often, but they also enjoy it more, both physically and emotionally. my comment: err...ano~~ i can't comment on this topic. coz' as a muslim having sex before married is a taboo behavior. So, i guess for sure la after married the enjoyment of having sex is better! ^^ (hamboi!! pepandai die jeee...:P)
  

• A great marriage depends on a great meeting of minds: As Dr. Phil puts it, "Men n Women are wired up differently. You're different genetically, physically, spiritually... so why wouldn't you b mentally and emotionally different?" Now, celebrate those differences, and compromise! my comment: one word pop up in my mind: tolerance. try to accept each other weaknesses. and at the end both of u will b happy and understand each other better..~
  

• Romance will always be alive in a good marriage: This isn't Hollywood! In the real world, every relationship has its peaks and valleys. Love will eventually shift from fiery passion to a warm amber glow. my comment: hoyeah!!~ this is reality maaa~~ get up from ur imagination or fantasy world!! it's not a Hoollywood case only, but also Bollywood!! hahaha:P everything must be perfect like planning. but, in the real world... nuthing can b done like dat!
  

wah~~ lame xpost some facts..nmpak sgt gile boring!!!hahahaha:D fuhh~~ ouh, before i end up my post. plz read some of the phrase from Constantine. i like dat phrase coz it inspired me to make my future relationship w/ my husband better ^^.

"I've never been bored with Diane (his wife), and I never will be. We still argue from time to time, but much less than we did years ago, because we know we can't afford to waste any more time. if I had only five minutes to live, i would want all of those minutes to be with her."

"In my ideal world, no couple would ever need to think about divorce. All couples would value their marriage and their spouse so much that they would not do anything to destroy their marriage."

"A divine intervention is needed. Because when one partner breaches the trust of the other by being unfaithful, that's it. Even I can't helpmend it."

"Marriage talks usually focus on nothing but doom and gloom. I want to turn it around this time, and see what couples have been doing correctly to stay in love. One of it is keeping the lines of communication open, without any hostility."

"Too often, the tension that you experience outside, like in your work place or on the road, is brought into the realtionship. You need to differentiate the tension between you and around you. Only then can you realise that you're not really mad at significant other, but you are just taking it out on him or her."